Well, this is a first.
I’ve seen all sorts of stuff sold as DLC on Steam—in-game content, soundtracks, art books, etc—but never a pattern that you print out and fold up to make a physical model of a game character. And yet, for the shockingly existent price of $0.99, snazzy looking action adventure Cross of the Dutchman will give you exactly that. I’m not joking. The character is Grutte Pier, the game’s hero. That’s him up top, looking all stoked about adventure or maybe his vaguely messianic appearance. Here are the system requirements:
I’m of mixed minds on this. On one hand, it’s a super cute and original idea for DLC, but on the other I’m having a hard time getting past the price tag—even if it’s minuscule as a dirt clod on a flea’s sweet new sneakers. They’re selling a paper pattern at a price that, in this day and age, I can buy an entire game for. There’s a depressing statement on how little concrete value people place on games in there somewhere, but the point still stands.
It’s just bizarre, honestly. It’s not like somebody could make a fortune—or even a meaningful amount of money—off this type of thing. There’s no “scam” potential here. At worst, I suppose it’s a way to snag a few extra cents from hyper-dedicated fans. I’m probably overthinking this, but it’s all so odd! I MUST UNDERSTAND WHY THESE DEVELOPERS DID WHAT THEY DID.
I sent them an email, obviously. They’ve yet to reply. I would apologize for becoming preoccupied with the damndest things, but we’ve all convened—many of us hailing from different places and walks of life—on a site about video games, snacks, and pro wrestling. We are all preoccupied with the damndest things, and that’s what makes us beautiful.
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