That's why Kotajiro wrote a guide on how to make your own girlfriend in out-of-nowhere survival hit Stranded Deep. Just a couple quick modifications, and it works perfectly for the splinter-ridden dude of your dreams too.

For the dirty minded among you, no, your all-too-literal stick figure guy or gal pal isn't for sticking your bits into. "Just talk to her when you get lonely," recommends Kotajiro.

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Because, you know, doing anything else would be incredibly painful. Why would you even consider that? Unless, well... I mean, if you're into that, then by all means. Don't blame me when you can't find any tweezers on your desolate island prison, though.

The Steam Community Showcase is a regular look at the cream of the Steam community's boundless crop. Art, videos, guides—whatever. Each installment highlights a specific piece or person. If you find anything cool on Steam or would like to have your work featured, drop me a line.

To contact the author of this post, write to nathan.grayson@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @vahn16.