My first play session with Devil Daggers, a new ‘90s-inspired shooter on Steam, lasted five seconds.

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When I’m playing Devil Daggers, my face pretty much always looks like this:

Because of this:

Devil Daggers is not what I would call a kind game. Everything about it is leering, hostile, agonized. The game’s sole room is dark and disorienting. Every sound that emanates from within its horrid chamber could be described using some variation on the words, “screech,” “wail,” “cry,” and “the devil’s own heartbeat.”

Oh, and of course, everything wants to kill you. Everything wants to kill you real, real bad.

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You have about five seconds before there are goddamn enemies (and by that I mean enemies who appear to have been very literally Damned By God) goddamn everywhere. They bear down on you like floodwater. Eventually, you will be overwhelmed. At first, it will only take seconds. After a few tries, you might manage a minute. Maybe.

Try Devil Daggers. It’s $4.99. It’s good.

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